Melanie's story

June 6, 2008

A daughter’s plea to move to a shelter helped end years of abuse for Melanie* and her three girls.
Physical, emotional and psychological abuse by her husband controlled Melanie’s life for eight years. He demanded to know what she was doing at all times and isolated her from her friends and family.

Melanie was completely cut off from the outside world. She felt exhausted, worthless and depressed. The depression became so bad she could not get out of bed. Her eldest daughter began taking care of her and her two younger daughters.

One day, her daughter had enough: asking her Mom if they could move into a shelter or call to get help. Melanie did not know it at the time but her husband had begun abusing the children as well.

“I finally realized I wasn’t the only one who was hurting,” Melanie says. “My girls were too, and I needed to get better so I could take care of them.”

She didn’t have to leave. Her husband walked out on the family, leaving Melanie feeling at the lowest point in her life. “I still loved him even though he treated me the way he did,” she says, remembering the day he left.

The Children’s Aid Society received an anonymous call reporting her husband’s abuse. Melanie, still in love, defended him against the accusations and pretended everything was fine with her family. But that call did change things for the family. The Children’s Aid Society gave her contact information for a program in her neighbourhood called Family Networks. Melanie made the call.

Unique in Ontario, Family Networks provides access to professional and other community services necessary to keep families together safely and reduce the number of children in the care of the Children's Aid Society. This innovative project, launched in February 2007, is a response to research commissioned by United Way of London & Middlesex and conducted by researchers at The University of Western Ontario in 2003.

Family Networks involves a combination of professional and lay mentors who are assigned to a family for support, assistance, guidance and advocacy. Mentors don’t replace professionals in the field but offer an additional resource for these families.

With the help of Family Networks, Melanie was able to set goals for herself and her family, to find the resources necessary to work toward them and to be supported along the way. With the help of her facilitator and mentor, Melanie says she is now able to look at life more positively, seeing the glass as ‘half full’ instead of ‘half empty’ as she used to.

“I don’t know what I would do without Family Networks,” Melanie explains. “They’ve helped me so much. I just hope that one day I can show my gratitude for what they have done for me and my girls.”

*Name has been changed

Strengthening families is one of United Way of London & Middlesex's priority areas. Learn more.